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by OPOVV, ©2015

(Sep. 28, 2015) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. As you can see, we’re standing in front of the Metropolitan Gazette, our city’s largest newspaper, here to interview the political editor, Ms. Shirlee Powel.”

“And here I am. Let’s go around the corner to the diner; there’s a booth in the rear that’s reserved for newspaper staff. They make a decent burger, by the way.”

“Oh, snuck up on us, did you? Thanks, we’re always in need of a burger, even if it is 9:00 a.m. I plan to just tape this; we’ll add the needed footage back at the studio. I guess it’s burgers all around, at least for us.

“Alright, your phone call was a little cryptic, but I heard ‘ignorant pseudo-intellectuals’ which piqued my curiosity, so here we are. What’s that all about?”

“Just a professional observation, is all, but I’ve noticed that people are actually getting dumber, or else I’m getting smarter. Just kidding.

“Look, it’s hard to pin it down in just one sentence, but people have a harder and harder time discerning the difference between the ‘literal world’ and the ‘figurative’ one.

“I remember the first time I saw ‘Peter Pan.’  When I went home I opened my window and actually contemplated jumping out and flying. I guess I was 5 or 6. And then my sister, after she saw ‘Alice in Wonderland,’ had Tea Parties forever: as a matter of fact, she’s now got grandchildren and she still has tea parties.

“The point is that some people just don’t get the point the first time around. Like, on the surface, these children’s stories are entertaining; makes kids exercise their imagination, which is why reading the stories is far better than watching a Classics Illustrated silver screen version. Like Gulliver’s Travels or The Once and Future King: stories for children but with an underlying adult theme, usually political in nature. No, that’s not right: always political in nature. And maybe not so underlying after all.

“Take nursery rhymes: ‘Ring Around the Rosy’ is about the Black Death. Or the strangest, ‘The Pied Piper.’ But those are examples of what I’m talking about, not the real thing.

“In baseball you have a ‘sacrifice’; in football, it’s your ‘cheap shot,’ and so on. In sport after sport you have figurative sayings that are not to be taken literally.

“A few years ago, 2012, I think, there was a candidate who wouldn’t take any donations, so he said to give it to the ASPCA or the USO. Meaning, of course, that if you‘ve got money burning a hole in your pocket, give it to charity.

“Now anyone with an iota of a brain could discern that this candidate didn’t want to owe anybody any favors at any time; that he didn’t want anyone’s money; that his platform would speak for itself, but there were some people out there who were so sophomoric and childish about a candidate who wasn’t going to take one red cent that they just couldn’t understand such a phenomenon.

“Here’s Obama, back in 2011, raising millions convincing people that the economy is great and the war against – how did he put it? – ‘al Qaeda is on the run’ in his reelection bid, and here comes a candidate saying the war, the real war, is against the destruction of Western Civilization by Islam, that we’re losing, and that we should tell the IRS, Federal Reserve Bank and the UN to all take a flying leap.

“Well, we all know that Obama was reelected because of ignorance; the driving force of today’s voter, won the day.  Forget facts: Birth Certificate a fake and stolen Social Security number. And just look at the mess the world’s in.”

“That’s fine and dandy, but what causes ignorance? What’s the root cause?”

“Why, it’s just the simple ability to determine right from wrong; that’s all there is. It has nothing to do with anything but the Golden Rule (you know, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander). That’s all there is to it; all it’s ever been.

“Or let me put it another way: if you’re pro-Golden Rule, you’re automatically anti-Islam; conversely, if you’re anti-Golden Rule, you’re pro-Islam, or a supporter of Islam and therefore anti-Constitution, making you, automatically, anti-American which, if you’re an American, makes you a traitor. Wow! Now that was a mouthful. I rest my case.”

“And a good case it is, Ms. Editor. Well, we can certainly use it, all of it. We have footage of 9-11 and of the Benghazi compound, and interviews with people about Obama’s ineligibility, plus the tie-in of the Federal Reserve and the so-called ‘stimulus’ money. I think we can get a good hour of a special show out of it. Thanks. We’ll get it together and air it this weekend.

“And maybe get back on the street and find a real Looney-tune to tell us that Islam is a ‘religion’ and then someone with brains that’ll say that Obama is nothing but a de facto clown in a cheap suit trying to push Sharia Law down our throats.

“We can end the piece showing me on the firing range with a BAR shooting at silhouettes of ‘pseudo-intellectuals’ who spew by rote whatever subliminal message they saw the last time they watched FOX or some other television station controlled by Muslims or by ignorant Americans.

“Okay. Thanks. I’ll leave the tip. Anybody want to order a burger for the road?”

Semper Fi


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