by Roving Reporter, ©2024 (Jan. 28, 2023) — “Magical Mystery Tour” (2:50) “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. As you can readily tell by the chalkboard on wheels, today’s featured guest is our favorite General. Welcome back: long time, no see. How […]
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Posted inEditorials
Mob Rule (RR)
by Roving Reporter, ©2023 (Mar. 26, 2023) — “Ko-u-i-po” (2:24) “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. We thought it was necessary to put the rumors of Henry’s leaving to rest, once and for all. Joining us is Henry’s next-door neighbor, none other than Madam […]
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Bishop Dunkin’s First Sermon as a Bishop (RR)
by Roving Reporter, ©2023 (Jan. 11, 2023) — “Driftin’ Blues” (4:57) “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Before we listen to Dunkin’s first sermon as a Bishop, Professor Zorkophsky would like to say a few words.” “Thank you, Roving, for giving me this […]
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A Heartfelt Anthem
by OPOVV, ©2022 (Oct. 23, 2022) — “Memory” (4:20) I don’t remember anthems. The only anthem I remember I didn’t, although I remember that Kaepernick was kneeling. And then during the following week the NFL Commissioner, Roger Goodell, met with the owners of the NFL and decided to disrespect my military service. Haven’t watched a […]
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Book Review in Time for Santa (RR)
by Roving Reporter, ©2022 (Sep. 2, 2022) — “Honky Tonk Women” (3:25) “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Our featured guest tonight is the well-known author of bestselling textbooks for the amateur psychiatrist, Professor Zorkophsky. Welcome aboard, Professor; glad to have you […]
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Dear Mr. Trump
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How to FIX the World’s Problems in 10 EASY Steps (RR)
by Roving Reporter, ©2022 (Jul. 1, 2022) — “Laramie Theme Song” (2:23) “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. The Supreme Court recently announced that the most drastic form of birth control – murder by abortion – will no longer be available […]
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There’s a Reason for Cowardly Cops (RR)
by Roving Reporter, ©2022 (May 27, 2022) — “God Bless America” (2:49) “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Today’s guest is Madam Shylock, our fortune-teller extraordinaire, who requested a little airtime which we were more than happy to give her. Welcome […]
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Tales of a COVID Survivor (RR)
by Roving Reporter, ©2021 (Nov. 19, 2021) — [Note: It has been surmised, actually for quite some time, that ‘Pulse’ has more than one contributor, even the editor of The P&E, Sharon Rondeau, along with Professor ‘Trash the masks’ Zorkophsky, OPOVV, Madam Shylock, Professor Wert, Chief New Leaf and a slew of others. Not true, as far as […]
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The Declaration of Truth (RR)
by Professor Zorkophsky, ©2021 (Sep. 11, 2021) — “I Love How You Love Me” (2:06) “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. It is with great sadness and reluctance that I announce the forced retirement of Roving Reporter (RR). His inability to […]
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Where Has All the Honor Gone?
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It Looks Like an Early Autumn
by OPOVV, ©2021 (Aug. 16, 2021) — First they let the Green Cards expire. Then they gave DACA free education. And they gave illegals money, and housing, and food and even more money. Then they invited the relatives and friends. And then they invited everybody. Meanwhile… In Europe they invited the Muslim “migrants.” Then they […]
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“The Ethereal Bandit,” a Play in One Act (RR)
by Professor Zorkophsky, ©2021 (Aug. 13, 2021) — “Maria” (1:46) “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. With us today is the well-known playwright, Joseph Cone, who invited us for the gala opening night. And that’s where we are, 17th row center […]
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Drape This (RR)
by Professor Zorkophsky, ©2021 (Aug. 8, 2021) — “Everybody Loves a Lover” (2:43) “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Now for you loonies in California or in General Milley’s military, welcome to those who were birthed and indoctrinated by combat boot […]
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What Are They Thinking Now?
by Professor Zorkophsky, ©2021 (Jul. 30, 2021) — “New Orleans Blues Duet” (1:47) “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen (including all you government snoops), and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Today we’re at the old Mom & Pop grocery store down on Amity Lane about to ask […]
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Their Lies Aren’t Working
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The Truth Behind January 6
by OPOVV, ©2021 (Jul. 24, 2021) — Every morning I cross out the day before on the calendar in my bathroom. So January 6th was a Wednesday, trash pickup day. On Thursday, the following day, I crossed out Wednesday: trash was picked up. Anything else happened that day? Some protesters against the fraud of an […]
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The Virus is a Nano Time Bomb (RR)
by Professor Zorkophsky, ©2021 (Jul. 7, 2021) — “Speedo” (2:19) “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. With us today is Dr. Chan Zit, a nanotechnologist who used to work next-door to a lab in China; isn’t that correct, Dr. Zit?” “Yes, that is […]
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Leaf Talks to Shylock (RR)
by Chief New Leaf, ©2021 (Jun. 8, 2021) — “Highway Patrol Theme Song” (0:43) “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. I got on I-95 and headed south and ended up at ‘Madam Shylock‘s Fortune-Telling Emporium,’ right across the street from the […]