“YOU BETTER BE ABLE TO THINK FOR YOURSELF”
by OPOVV, ©2017
(Oct. 1, 2017) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘Pulse of the Nation,’ the current-event information show that just lays it out for you to make an informed decision. As you can see, we’re back on our favorite corner, under the awning, across from the railroad station. My name is Roving and I’m the host of this show who waylays regular folk and asks them what bugs them the most. Excuse me, sir, Roving here for ‘Pulse.’ Care to answer a question for us?”
“Will do; watch whenever you’re on. I like that fortuneteller*. By the way, is she married?”
“Why don’t you ask her next time she’s in town? Look, what’s your take on Puerto Rico?”
“The politicians stole the people blind and it’s all come down to roost and there’s no place to hide and nobody in the world to blame except themselves for being taken advantage of and blaming everyone on the mainland except themselves.”
“Care to take a breath? Now that was a mouthful, but you’re right, of course. I was once the building engineer for a large motel chain and one of their motels was built on a barrier island that had its emergency generator on the ground floor, the same height – or depth, depending on if the glass is half full or half empty: I go by the ‘half empty’ side of the equation, by the way. Wife calls me ‘Mr. Negative’ and my retort is, ‘Call me “Mr. Reality”’ – like the parking lot. I pointed out the quite-beyond-obvious omission of common sense, after prefacing my statement with, ‘I wonder who got paid-off in city hall for approving such a stupid blueprint and totally worthless plans?’”
“You don’t seem to endear yourself to authority figures, do you?”
“Quite correct. Is this your train? Run along, then. If you’ll excuse us for a couple of minutes, we have to make some money by showing you a few commercials.” “Old Man River” 7:34
“Who’s next? You are?”
“Mary; my name is Mary and I’ve got a minute to spare. Cat and dog watch your show. We like the Chief and Mr. Turtle, although the ‘Turtle Who Sits on Rock in Moonlight’ isn’t on much, is he?”
“No he’s not, sad to say. He spends his days at the university’s telescope outside of the city, you know.”
“Yes, that’s my major, by the way.”
“You’re a student? Forgive me for saying so, but aren’t you rather mature to be going to school?”
“Not at all. When my parents died they left me comfortably off; house paid for; money in the bank and, of course, the life insurance, so I decided to take all the courses I wanted to take when I was in college but didn’t have the time.”
“Good for you. So you like the stars? What got you interested studying astronomy?”
“Captain Kirk, of course. See my keychain? It’s the Enterprise. What’s the question?”
“Give us an example of fake news, if you could.”
“Starting when? Back in the Dark Ages they said only sinners got the plague. And then if you were jealous of a neighbor, or maybe wanted his land at the next auction, maybe accuse him or her of witchcraft in Salem, Massachusetts in the 1600s.’
“Or in 2011 when Rep. Gabrielle Giffords was wounded, the news portrayed her as the target when even the dumbest 6th grader knew the target was the Federal Judge who ruled against Obama’s takeover. Judge John Roll was murdered, and everyone else was just the ‘sleight-of-hand decoys’ to take the onus away from the Obama Administration’s attempted abolishing of the Second Amendment**. And then just recently we had the ‘Russian Connection,’ but it wasn’t reported as the connection between our weapons-grade uranium that Hilary Clinton sold to the Russians who in turn will sell to the North Koreans and the Iranians. And here’s my train. Bye.”
“Goodbye, and thank you for taking the time to talk with us. Well, there you have it: you better be able to think for yourself because as sure as the sun rises in the east tomorrow you’ll not be hearing the truth from any of the major networks. Now as far as these so-called pundits are concerned, don’t be wasting your time listening to people who still haven’t figured out why Trump won and Hillary lost.
“I wonder what’s so hard to understand? We don’t want any illegal immigrants in our country, not a one, ever. Seems simple enough to understand, doesn’t it? Apparently not, though. Imagine the mess we’d be in if Hillary had won. And now it’s time for me, on behalf of my crew, to wish each of you a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Another great show. Burger time: my treat.”
[*fortuneteller: Madam Shylock of Cassadaga, FL]
[**Second Amendment: Obama was following in the footsteps of the NAZI blueprint of “How to take over a country: Step #1: Confiscate all weapons from the citizens.”]
“Arabesque No. 1 in E major” 4:42