“A REAL ARMY”
by OPOVV, ©2017
(Apr. 21, 2017) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘Pulse of the Nation,’ the news show that’s a real trip. And speaking of trips, the ‘Corner Bunch’ – that’s the handle that’s been bestowed on us, our foursome made up of the Rabbit, Turtle, Leaf and Yours Truly – have traveled to Casadaga, FL to confer with our favorite medium, Madam Shylock.
“It seems we’ve – the Corner Bunch – have made a big hit with the folks of our fair city. I’ve been told that we’re named after the ‘Wild Bunch,’ a movie made in the last century, apparently named after a real-to-life group of the totally misfit: a group who earned their money in a totally non-productive way: they were bank robbers.
“Oh, hello, Madam Shylock, I was just rambling on to our audience about our new nickname. Okay, we’ll march right on in. I want to thank you for seeing us on such short notice. Here, let me give you this envelope from our boss, since she knows you don’t like to be paid by check. Heck, does anybody? Yes, that’s right: if the government wouldn’t waste it maybe we taxpayers would have a different attitude.
“Since we’re not allowed to film in here let me describe to our viewers what I see: I see us all sitting around a round table that would normally seat four, but is now seating six, including our sound-boom girl, who just placed the microphone between me and the crystal ball.
“The Madam is removing the covering revealing the magical crystal ball, about the size of a bowling ball. What’s this? Do I see finger holes on the bottom? You mean this is a bowling ball?””
“What do you expect? And don’t give me that look: the last time I used it, last Thursday night, I bowled a 292, and my average is 132, so there. Along with the cash, your boss sent instructions on what I’m supposed to say to each one of you.”
“Me Big Chief New Leaf. What you are, ‘Wizard of Oz‘?”
“Since when did you, all of a sudden, become ‘Big’ Chief?”
“Hey, it’s called show business, okay?”
“Rabbit speaking: if this here ‘bowling ball’ isn’t a real crystal ball, why can’t we have the camera in here?”
“Look, there are rules and there are rules, and Rule Number One says no filming the crystal ball, see? Sure, it’s a bowling ball; do you have any idea how much a real crystal ball costs? But, and this is important so pay attention, it could be real, so we’ll go with that.
“I’ll start with Mr. Turtle. Mr. Turtle, you need a new theme song.
“Chief New Leaf, you’ve neglected your wheel bearings on your very expensive RV. Fix it.
“Eleanor the Rabbit, you’ve issues with dogs, it seems. I suggest you carry re-sealable packages of beef jerky.
“And now to you, Roving. If the world was run as you run your life, we would all be in a lot worse shape than we’re already in. You get on your soapbox and tell people what to do when you’ve made a mess of your own life. Just report the news with none of your stupid commentary, as if you know better.
“Let me tell you something, and this applies to you all, and to all your viewers, too. There’s only one thing in life to pay attention to and that’s to the people in your lives. The Golden Rule is life’s most important lesson, and after the Golden Rule nothing even comes close, because second place is far, far behind; a galaxy away; light years away; memories so far behind that, in order to remember, yards of dust have to be swept away to even attempt to remember what may have been important in your younger years but is meaningless today.
“Young people hurry, are in a hurry, and crash and burn. Wiser people refrain from burning their bridges; are less likely to say what they think; are prone to ‘think it over for a day’ before ‘jumping in’ or sending that letter, which is a distinct advantage over the instant emails of today.
“It wasn’t ‘luck’ that save the soldiers at Bastogne, France in World War II; it was Patton’s Third Army being prepared; it wasn’t ‘luck’ that Trump is our president, it was a lifetime achievement that prepared Trump to lead us, just as it won’t be ‘luck’ that will save Western Civilization from the psychos who adhere to the crazed rantings of a madman 1,400 years ago.
“You, Rabbit, Turtle, Leaf, sound-boom girl, and Roving are in an army, a real army, whether you like it or not. Those who have fought for freedom before you, all the way back to the days of Spartacus and even before, have drafted you. Each of us have a choice: to turn traitor, as Bernie Sanders and Hillary have done, or to stand up, step forward and be counted; to be a part of the whole; to be on the side that cries justice for men and women.
“There’s no way on God’s green earth that Trump can lead without followers: we are the followers, and as followers we must support our cause, and our cause is the Constitution, make no mistake about that. Constitutional Law over Sharia Law: it’s that simple.
“The most important and meaningful thought each of us will ever have will be our last. What we believe will happen next is nothing more than pure speculation, and the only person in human history that we think came back from the dead, Jesus, told us to believe in the Golden Rule, and for others to go on a senseless murdering rampage is nothing short of pure insanity.
“Think of it this way: life is random enough without the additional threat of being murdered as one goes about our daily lives. If you thought that there was a darn good chance of being murdered at school, you wouldn’t go to school, or else maybe hire people who would keep you safe. Let me ask you one question: do you feel safe in America?
“Every day it’s a brand-new world, and today is just going to be more violent than yesterday; that’s just the way it is. It’s good to be able protect yourself, but it’s necessary to be part of the larger group made up of Patriots. Left-wing loonies take note: when it comes down to a fight, you’re the expendable ones; it’s just the consequence of choosing the wrong side.
“Each of us comes into this life with life, and we give up our lives when we leave it. Do we go through life with the thought of a shared experience, or do we squander our gift through violence? It’s virtually impossible to reason with a crazed maniac, so why bother? It’s better to take prudent precautions than to be caught unprepared. Don’t you think it’s about time to send the Muslims, along with the illegal immigrants, back where they came from?”
“Why, yes, of course: it goes without saying, doesn’t it? Look, none of us citizens wanted them here in the first place: it was the crooked politicians taking money under the table, or organizations that get government money for importing Muslims and the Chamber of Commerce as the mouthpiece of Big Business’s unquenchable appetite for cheap labor. The sound-boom girl is making frantic gestures, which means our time is up. I’d like to thank you for watching and, on behalf of everyone here, including our cameraman outside, I’ll be wishing everyone a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. There’s a burger joint on the outside of town; everyone’s invited: my treat.”