“LIES HAVE BEEN AROUND FOREVER”
by OPOVV, ©2017
(Mar. 20, 2017) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the show. The other day we had a BBQ at the church (down on Hawthorn Street) where the good reverend invited us to attend today’s sermon. Hello, I’m your Roving Reporter, who serves as the host for ‘Pulse of the Nation,’ the show that tries to put the truth first and foremost, but, as Shakespeare said, ‘to err is human,’ and we’ve made our fair share of mistakes of which you, our astute and attentive viewers, don’t hesitate to let us know.
“As you can see, we’re set up in the balcony and the show’s about to start. Pardon me? Oh, sorry: the service is about to begin. What’s the difference? Entertainment is the same all over, isn’t it? from Las Vegas to Atlantic City and all of the churches in between. Oh, really? Then just look at the women here: they’re dressed to the nines, in their Sunday best, and they look it, too: fine-looking women, for sure. Hey, cool it: we’ll just edit it out, like we always do, so relax, sit back and enjoy the show. Service, thank you.
“There seems to be some sort of delay. Could you find out? It seems as if the church’s pet hamster got loose and it was last seen in the vicinity of the choir closet, you say? Now it’s running around the altar and the ladies refuse to enter the nave until the rodent is caught. Okay, what do you say we interview somebody? Excuse me, sir, Roving for ‘Pulse.’ What brings you to church today?”
“I’m in the doghouse.”
“The church is a ‘doghouse?’”
“No, no; my wife is down below and I’m regulated up here for some sort of penance, perhaps a closer-to-God sort of thing.”
“What in heaven’s name did you do?”
“The idiosyncrasy of my pickup truck is that, out of the blue, the distributor cap will crack and then, poof! The other day it went south, so I replaced it from the one I carry around in my toolbox, just in case. Anyway, I was in the bathroom and my wife walked in as I was cleaning my fingernails with my electric toothbrush. When she saw that, you’d think the dam broke and hellfire and brimstone was about to engulf us all, I mean all of us on the whole planet. So, instead of saying something like, ‘Oh, sorry, dear, I didn’t know; what I was thinking?’ I said, ‘What’s the big deal? You used to wash the baby in the kitchen sink. I’ll just wash it and it’ll be as good as new, see?’ Well, it was one of those moments that I knew I crossed the line.”
“What line would that be?”
“It’s something that’s not physical as much as it’s a mental line, and it might as well be made of titanium. She said, ‘I didn’t marry a slob’ and, like a fool, I said, ‘Well, apparently you did.’ I was lucky to sleep on the couch, let alone being allowed in the house last night. I mean, gee whiz, what’s the big deal?”
“I’d have to say, offhand, I mean I’m not a marriage counselor or anything like that, but did you fix the truck?”
“That I did.”
“Well, then, what is the big deal? The crew and I usually have burgers after the show; I’d like to extend an invite to you and your wife; maybe we can talk some sense into her. And it looks as if the little rodent is back in its cage and here comes the pastor, or reverend: let’s listen in.”
“Sorry about the delay, folks. The little critter is back home, safe and sound: ‘All’s well that ends well.’ Now, because we’re under a time restraint, we’ll dispense with the opening number and the announcements and jump right into the sermon, ‘Pharaoh’s Son wasn’t above the Law,’ or the story of Moses. In today’s words it could be, ‘Hillary Clinton and all the rest of the Swamp People aren’t above the Law,’ but that wouldn’t ring true, or at least until now it wouldn’t, since I haven’t seen any of them being carted off to jail, have you?
“No, we haven’t. See, it’s one thing to be righteous but it’s an entirely different ball game to live righteous. We are reminded of the rich man entering heaven and if he would have any difficulty. Well, now, why would he? You see, money is just a tool which has no conscience; none whatsoever. And I dare say most people also have none, but it’s not the people’s fault as much as the power struggle of total control.
“Let me explain it another way: the people who’ve spent billions of dollars and thousands of hours pushing for a NEW WORLD ORDER are still out there, planning and plotting like never before. They’re still here; still riding our buses and trains; still go to work at banks and insurance offices; still on the television; and still trying to influence us all by Machiavellian means to herd us into believing that we want chains and rules and deadlines and expiration dates.
“And they’re doing a pretty good job of it; yes, they are. People don’t read books like they used to, so what happens to the brain is that it atrophies. No, I don’t mean it becomes a lump of minerals and water; it becomes a receptive center; a receiver; a radio; nothing more than a tool in which to sweep up instructions: that’s all. Reading, on the other hand, is a participatory sport. You heard me: reading is a participatory sport. I’ll concede that I may have stretched the definition of ‘sport’ somewhat, but I argue that there’s a direct link between an author and the reader that may very well span centuries as well as millennia.
“It is true that the author may not know you, why, even in our own time a poet who lives in a village in Tibet may never see you, yet speaks to you in the present, the here and now. The sayings of Sun Tzu, the famous Chinese General, the same; likewise, the Bible. The difference between passive and active interference is the difference between Socialism and Capitalism: one allows others to run their lives, to think for them, while Capitalism strives to allow one to be a free-thinker; not be restrained except by the Golden Rule.
“Today our country is in dire straits; we have total idiots chugging the Kool-Aid who are acting in a play that is detrimental to the actors involved. I’m sorry, but we must be saying goodbye since Roving is waving at me. Thank you for watching.”
“If the rodent didn’t steal some of our time, I’m sure the good reverend would’ve finally gotten around to his point, but I think we got the gist of it: lies have been around forever and the only reason we can speak freely now is because of the sacrifices those who have gone before us have made in the name of reason and freedom. Thank you for tuning in and so, on behalf of the crew and the parishioners of this church, I’d like to wish you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show, guys. So if the Pharaoh’s son wasn’t above the law, then nobody is, right? What do you say we all go down and join in on the dogs and burgers? Where’s that guy who’s in the doghouse? I’ll make the offering: my treat.”