“FACTS OF LIFE”
by OPOVV, ©2017
(Jan. 30, 2017) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘Pulse of the Nation.’ What we do is interview people on the street, and in this case it’s the people waiting for the train to take them to the big city. Hello, I’m Roving Reporter who will be your host. What do you say we get the show on the road and start interviewing people?
“Excuse me, Miss, care to be on television?”
“Oh, hello, Roving. Cat and I watch your show, but I must say that when that talking dog howls she gets scared and runs into the kitchen.”
“Sorry about that, but the dog doesn’t actually talk. Here’s the question: Mind telling our audience what you do for a living and do you enjoy your job?”
“I’m a parenting counselor. I teach the correct way in which to raise a child. I teach when to correct bad behavior and how to reward acceptable behavior.”
“So how goes it? Are you booked or do you wait for the phone to ring?”
“Oh, no, we have a five-year waiting list. Parents are enrolling as soon as they become pregnant.”
“Wow. So do they, the parents, like, graduate? Do you have a ceremony and award a certificate, diploma?”
“Well, no, nothing like that.”
“Do you at least have a final exam?”
“That we have. After the 16-week course, which is four nights a week for three months, we give them a test, and if they pass we give them a gift card to a fine restaurant.”
“Mind revealing any part of the final exam?”
“Not at all. Here’s the question: Your child is 18 years old and just graduated from high school and comes up to you and says they’re moving to Little Italy because they want to be a Catholic. What is your response? If the parents answer, ‘Remember the Golden Rule, child, and I wish you well,’ they pass. The same goes for Chinatown; the Polish section; the German quarter: Shinto; Hindu; Baptist; Jew; Methodist and all the rest.”
“When you say, ‘All the rest,’ are you including where the Muslims live? Would the parents answer the same if their child converted to Islam?”
“No, of course not: don’t be ridiculous. What are you trolling for, a sound bite for the nightly news? I never thought you’d stoop so low for such tactics.”
“Just asked for our viewers.”
“Sure. Okay. What we try to do is teach the parents the ability to teach their children the Golden Rule. We’re not affiliated with any political philosophy or party or any established religion. Besides, you’re trying to mix oil and vinegar, or comparing oranges and apples. You’re falling into the brainless trap that’s called mainstream media-think, which is a polite way of saying ‘mindless blabber.’”
“What do you mean?”
“What I mean is that Islam is a one-way street. What we teach is the truth of what Islam is. Islam is not moving to the Muslim section and then moving out. Once in; forever in. There’s no way out except under sentence of death, which is why our so-called ‘moderate Muslims’ are, in fact, still Muslims, like it or not. Fact of life.”
“Yes, I’ve wondered about the fallacy of the moderate Muslim.”
“There’s really, in reality, no such animal as a moderate Muslim. You want to know why there’s no such thing as a moderate Muslim? Because Islam is a political force, just as Communism and Nazism are political forces. I mentioned Nazism on purpose because they incorporated many aspects of religion in their ceremonies, such as night parades with torches and great political rallies with search lights. Had Nazism survived, it, too, in 1400 years, would also be listed as one of the ‘World’s Great Religions,’ no doubt about it. Kind-of like a metamorphosis: from a political entity to a religion or pseudo-religion. Think about it. God gave you a brain: use it.”
“I must say you’re rather blunt and to-the-point, aren’t you?”
“Well, sad to say, we have to be because most young parents these day are pretty… how do I say, ‘Not quite up to par politically?’”
“So let’s back up a little here. You’re saying, well, you said that, I think you said, that if Germany won World War II, and if Nazism survived as long as Islam has survived, that Nazism would be considered a religion today, is that right? That’s crazy. We all know that Nazism is a political philosophy, and not a religion, right?”
“That’s quite right.”
“And, correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t the Nazi political party and Islam pretty-much the same, I mean, basically?”
“Of course they are. Who knows what the Nazi Party would’ve morphed into after 1400 years? Maybe it would look just as Islam looks today, I mean, exactly looks today: old men molesting young girls with the sanction of the society because it’s the old men that are making up the rules. Also, men murdering girls, sisters, mothers, and wives: society-sanctioned, premeditated murder with the blessing of the old men: honor killings. Pushing gays off of tall buildings; no trial required. And yes, I love my job and I voted for Trump. Look, here comes my train. Got to run. Hey, get that talking dog back on.
“One last comment before I have to run: we make sure the parents teach their children the difference between right and wrong. Inviting strangers to sleep in your home without knowing anything about them is wrong; having strangers in your house is also wrong; letting a stranger baby-sit for you is wrong, and so on. So what’s the difference between your country and your home? The point is there isn’t any: your county is your home. We teach that deporting Muslims is a darn good idea for your safety and mine, too. Bye!”
“Thank you for talking with us, and thank you for the lesson why Islam is a political philosophy and NOT a religion. And how many, if any, of our viewers out there got the message? Hey, we just ran out of time and so, on behalf of the crew, I’d like to thank you for watching and we’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. Everyone’s asking about that dog, maybe we should find him. Her? It’s a ‘her’ dog? Okay, burger time: my treat.”
“Where Have All the Flowers Gone”