“YOU CAN’T IGNORE SUCCESS”
by OPOVV, ©2017
(Jan. 26, 2017) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,” the evening news show that’s talked about at the water cooler the next morning. I’m Mr. Roving, your host. We’re going to change the format a little so we’ll see how it goes. We’re going to conduct a poll: hopefully, revealing the truth, something that the mainstream media has dismally failed to do.
“The news organizations that we used to rely on are no longer valid, yet have been kept on because of some misplaced hope that, at some time in the near future, their viewership will miraculously reappear and they’ll be able to sell their advertising time at a profit. As it now stands, their share of the market is not worth mentioning. The monies that they glean from their regularly-scheduled daytime soaps have carried their failed news programs, which is an unsustainable business model. What do you say we get started?
“Excuse me, sir, mind if I ask you a question?”
“Oh, it’s Mr. Roving. My dog and I watch your show. We like that talking dog, by the way. And before you go any further, I’m a Veteran and I’d just like to say that if President Trump wants Marsha Blackburn to run the VA, that is fine with me. Now, what’s the question of the day?”
“We’re taking a poll, actually. First, was Trump’s win over Hillary any kind of a surprise for you?”
“Not at all; heck, I voted for him. Seems as if the only people that were surprised were the ones who couldn’t count. Let’s see: Trump had 20,000 supporters at his rallies while Hillary was lucky to have 2,000, if even half that. The outcome was as plain as day more than a year away, actually, more that eight years away.”
“How’s that?”
“Remember, back in 2008, when Hillary and Obama was on stage debating, I think it was in Pennsylvania, and Hillary was asked if she would support illegal immigrants getting a driver’s license? Remember that? And she said no, that driver’s licenses should be issued to American citizens only. And then Obama was asked the same question and he answered. ‘Sure, why the heck not?’ Remember that?”
“Yes, I do remember, and rather than stand her ground, she caved.”
“That’s right: no backbone. And from 2008 to 2016 we had thousands of illegal immigrants raping and murdering our citizens (that the mainstream media failed to cover) and a lot of us only heard the real numbers because Trump made it an issue, right? That Hillary was pro-amnesty and open borders?”
“That’s right. Jeb Bush said they came here for ‘love,’ but what they really come here for is not work but to get welfare and food stamps so they can buy booze and get drunk, then drive and kill, something that’s tolerated in Mexico, by the way. I think Mexico’s whole economy is based upon drunks maiming and killing people: if they don’t beat on their wives or knife their neighbor, they’re running head-on to whatever happens to be in the way. So they need ambulances and clinics and hospitals, just because of all the drunks.”
“Excellent answer. Now: how’s Trump doing?”
“Better than ever. You know why I feel so good? I’ll tell you why: because I voted for him, that’s why. I had a part of ‘Make America Great Again,’ and I’m proud of it. And here’s my train. Bye.”
“Goodbye.
“Sorry, I failed to mention that we’re back under the awning on the corner across from the train station. And here comes a young lady. Excuse me, Miss, got a minute?”
“For you, Roving, anytime. What’s the question?”
“We’re conducting a poll: do you approve of Trump?”
“What a stupid question; what a waste of time. Of course I approve of Trump: 100%. I didn’t vote for him: wish I had. But you can’t ignore success, and he’s got it in spades.”
“Why did you vote for Hillary in the first place?”
“Well, I don’t have an answer, but I do have an excuse. I work full-time and the only time I have for news is just an hour a day, when I get home from work, and then I’m in the kitchen cooking and then eating. From habit I watched the mainstream media, but when they kept on harping on what a ‘surprise’ Trump’s win was and that he won by such an overwhelmingly large margin, well, that did it for me. I don’t appreciate being lied to, I’ll tell you that. So now I’m a ‘Trumpster’ and proud of it. And here comes my train. Nice talking with you. By the way, have that talking dog on. Bye.”
“The dog doesn’t talk! I don’t think she heard me. Now where were we? We conducted a scientific poll, what? Not scientific? How can that be? We have it all on camera: we asked the question and they answered: Do you approve of Trump? Yes-yes. 100% approval rating. Done.
“I’m getting the ‘time’s–up’ sign, which is a slash across the throat. What do you say we come up with a little better sign language; that one’s kind-of unnerving. And so, on behalf of the crew, I’d like to thank you for being in our audience and to wish each one of you a goodnight: Goodnight.
“You know what, does any of you know how to get in touch with that Vietnam Vet with the dog? He just walks by now and then? Maybe we could get them on at the beginning of the show, like maybe to increase our ratings. Do you think it would work? Look, the dog doesn’t talk. Maybe you just think you heard it talk. Burger time: my treat.”