“A REAL ADULT CONVERSATION”
by OPOVV
(Dec. 10, 2016) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to another fun-filled episode of ‘Pulse of the Nation.” What we do is interview unsuspecting people just minding their own business and ask them a question. Hello, my name is Roving Reporter and, as you can plainly see, we’re back on the sidewalk under the awning across from the railroad station.
“Ah, here comes a young man. Hello.”
“Hello. I know who you are. We watch your show every night, or at least the times you’re on. My dad really likes you but my mom thinks you’re not as smart as you think you are.”
“Or she thinks I am.”
“Right. Anyway, we find that professor – the one that writes all them books – is pretty good. And that Veteran with the talking dog – the one with the idea of telling time to the hour rather away from the hour — is pretty neat. We don’t know who came up with the idea in the first place, the dog or the Vet.”
“No one knows. Look, what do you think about this ‘false news?’”
“You mean ‘fake news?’”
“Whatever.”
“So what else is new? I mean, ‘Wag the Dog’; ‘Tonkin Gulf’; and all of the rest of it.”
“But some news is real.”
“True, but we’re so used to seeing fabulous-fantastic headlines at the checkout counter that we’re either all skeptics or all believers.”
“And which camp do you subscribe to?”
“Oh, wow. Is this like a real adult conversation? Far out, man. I think I’m a skeptic, like I don’t believe that the government has been in-breeding those UFO captives from Roswell, New Mexico, with people who live in the Appalachian Mountains: you know, hillbillies.”
“So what are you saying?”
“There’s my train. Nice talking with you.”
“Saved by the horn. Next? Hello, Lady.”
“Hello, young man. George the Third and I watch your show. I heard what you asked that young man.”
“Let me guess: George the Third is your Pekinese.”
“Why, how could you possibly know?”
“We go to a lot of fortune tellers. What about this ‘made-up’ news business?”
“Remember when Hillary said she was taking sniper fire? Well, a real sniper would’ve been shooting at the cockpit window as the plane was landing or approaching the tarmac, so we knew that was fiction.”
“Now how would a little old lady know that?”
“My husband was a fighter pilot in Vietnam, is why. And I’m not old. Being ‘old’ is a state of mind, sonny. And here comes my train. Art Institute today. Goodbye.”
“Goodbye, and thank you for talking with us. Well, two normal people in a row; how about that? Next, please. Oh, hello, I remember you.”
“And I remember you.”
“And so are you ready for the question of the day?”
“I already heard it. I think that the government is grasping at straws – for excuses — to declare the election fraudulent so they can have another try at rigging it, but this time with the federal government in charge and PRESTO! Hillary wins! Surprise!
“And before you ask any more questions, let me say that they think that the groundwork has already been laid for this new ‘One World Order’ nonsense through Obamacare idiotcy. They have determined that in order to have total control over a person is to have them a slave of the government. Remind you of anything?
“Look, this Euro nonsense was just a precursor of the Muslim ‘immigrant’ invasion, right? ‘Open borders,’ my foot. And Obamacare was a precursor for the same reason. People are getting wise to this attempted takeover, but if we don’t deport the Muslims from our country, it’ll all be for naught.”
“’Naught’?”
“Like in all the effort getting Trump elected will have been totally wasted, understand?”
“Actually I do and the great majority of our viewers do also.”
“Do you ever meet with them? Your viewers, I mean.”
“Every day: ‘I watch you every night with FiFi, or Rex.’ I’m beginning to think that most of my audience is made up of dogs, with a few cats here and there.
“Look, our time has expired. And so, staunch and loyal viewers, on behalf of the crew I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
‘Good show. Where were you off to?”
“Science and Industry museum. I like to watch the trains go round and round.”
“Me, too. Hey, join us for a burger: my treat.”
“You Never Even Called Me By My Name”