“A GOVERNMENT JOB”
by OPOVV, ©2016
(May 8, 2016) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to another immensely entertaining episode of ‘Pulse of the Nation.’ As you can see, we’re once again on our favorite turf under the awning across the railroad station about to waylay a few common folk to see what’s on their mind.
“Excuse me, guys. Roving Reporter here. Got a minute to answer a couple of questions?”
“Sure thing.”
“So where you all off to?”
“Don’t you know? Trump’s in town over at the convention center for a political rally and we’re on our way to protest.”
“Protest? Now why in the heck do you want to protest?”
“For money, why else? See, there was this ad on the college bulletin board, the one in the cafeteria that read: ‘Protesters wanted. No experience necessary, $12 per hour. Apply at the administration building, Dean Huckster’s office.’ So you could say we’re on our way to work.”
“Who pays you? Who do you work for? Who’s your boss?”
“Hold on, man; one question at a time, if you please. Let’s see, our boss would be Obama, would it not? I mean, this is, after all, a government job, isn’t it?”
“That’s right; we were told that the police and we are on the same side, that we coordinate…”
“They said ‘choreograph.’”
“Oh, that’s right. That we choreograph the protest for the, what did he say? ‘The best position for the news cameras.’”
“So you five young college students are off to protest Trump for money? You mean to tell me that you’re taking money from the enemy, for what?”
“Well, the man did say it’s a cure for our unemployment problem.”
“What unemployment problem? You’re all probably going to school on borrowed money; some government ‘grant,’ which is nothing but a fancy term meaning that if you renege on your financial obligation to a private bank, the government will guarantee the loan, actually from another private bank: the Federal Reserve. It’s a fixed deck that’s designed to cheat the taxpayers, or don’t you care?”
“Look, Mr. Roving, you’re making this all too complicated. All we’re doing is collecting some beer money, okay?”
“No, it’s not okay. Don’t you realize you’re being used for propaganda purposes? Propaganda for the far left; the anti-Constitutionalists; the Muslims; the destroyers of the Republic?”
“See, that’s why we watch your show. We wait until you say something that’s so far off-the-wall, or one of your guests does — which is why it’s so entertaining — and then we celebrate by chugging a beer.”
“You’re saying you watch ‘Pulse of the Nation’ so you have an excuse to chug a beer? Is that’s what my show has become? By the way, what are you guys majoring in?”
“We’re all in Political Science, but Jim is going to be a teacher.”
“No doubt in Political Science. Well, this is about all that I can take for one episode of ‘Pulse of the Nation.’ See you around, guys. Hope you all get arrested.”
“Sorry to interrupt, Mr. Roving, but we get ‘arrested’ on camera, not for real. They take us away by transporting us to the staging area, which is usually the nearest donut store, and then let us go. Matter of fact, we get an extra $20 for a, how they’d put it? A convincing ‘drag-away,’ which is why we’re all wearing suspenders, which gives the cops something strong to get a grip on, like, a shirt might rip.”
“So there’s a real science to it all.”
“Where you been, Mr. Roving? There’s even a course at the university, ‘Introduction to Protesting, 101.’ It’s a required course, you know, like CPR.”
“No, I didn’t know. So my hard-earned tax dollars are being used to do me in.”
“Don’t take it so hard, Mr. Roving. Your generation tried to do the right thing, just as the ‘Greatest Generation’ did, but you all failed. You forgot that people don’t want to work and fight for liberty, all they want is free stuff, like laying around the ghetto and collecting welfare – government handouts — generation after generation. That’s why they’ll vote for Hillary: to stay on the plantation. Face it, people are lazy.”
“Some people are lazy, but not all. You guys are a disgrace.”
“And while we watch this show tonight, we’ll chug our beer. Thanks, Mr. Roving, but here comes our train. We’re out of here.”
“And that’s our show for tonight. As I said, we’re entertaining. Thanks for watching and so, on behalf of my crew, I’ll be wishing all of you a good night: Goodnight.”
“You believe those idiots: ‘A cure for unemployment’? Used as pawns in the political arena. No wonder why people hate Washington and career politicians like Paul Ryan, for one. What a joke. Let’s grab a well-earned burger and a shake; we deserve it. My treat.”