“A FRIVOLOUS CASE”
by OPOVV, ©2016
(Apr. 16, 2016) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to another round of ‘Pulse of the Nation.’ Tonight we’re going to try something new, and with us is Bob Holstein to kick it off. Bob is our in-house financial analyst to help us understand the hot stocks and which ones to avoid. Welcome aboard, Bob. What gives?”
“Hello, Roving, and thanks for having me on. I’ll tell you what gives: stupidity is what, why, if you could buy stock in stupidity we’d all be millionaires, I guarantee it.”
“How so, Bob? Why do you say that?”
“Why? I’ll tell you why. Of all that’s happening in the world today, starting with Ted Cruz’s and Obama’s Constitutional ineligibility to be president and with the followers of Islam on a worldwide murdering rampage, our courts have nothing better to do than to hear frivolous cases.”
“I suppose you have a case in mind.”
“You bet your bottom dollar, which is exactly what I did. You see, there’s a home-school parent, Anita Marvin of Illinois, who went to her stationery store to purchase supplies for her kids –she has two, ages 5 and 7 – but hit a brick wall.
“She tried to buy chalk but the clerk told her there was a, and I kid you not, a ‘three-day cooling-off period.’ They required her to fill out a gun permit application and asked her for a $50 deposit.”
“Why, that’s insane.”
“But it gets worse. She said to forget the chalk, just sell me the other stuff and they refused her, believe it or not.”
“On what grounds?”
“Hold on: ‘chalk paraphernalia.’ True story. So she got herself a lawyer and it went all the way up to the State Supreme Court.”
“And then what?”
“They took her kids, is what they did. Said she was an ‘unfit parent,’ that she was teaching using – hold on – ‘unsafe methods,’ referring to the chalk, and that she was putting her kids at risk for teaching them in an ‘unsafe environment’ with all that ‘chalk paraphernalia’ around, like blank sheets of paper and finger-painting supplies. It’s out of control, I tell you.
“But it gets worse. From now on, chalk can be distributed only by pharmacists; in other words, first one must get a prescription to buy chalk.”
“Now where in the heck do you get a prescription for chalk?”
“You don’t, and that’s my point. You see, when this ‘TRUMP 2016’ started I jumped on the bandwagon and invested rather heavily on companies that manufactured and distributed chalk. KAPUT! All gone: every red cent. All of my retirement money went right down the drain. My wife is going to kill me.”
“Maybe you should’ve known better than to put all of your eggs in one basket.”
“No, it wasn’t that. It was plain and simple American stupidity, just like the stupidity of accepting ‘creeping Sharia,’ as in ‘bending the rules’ for a change in uniforms because of ‘religious beliefs.’”
“So you invested in chalk stock and lost your shirt. Bad break.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, Roving. It wasn’t any ‘bad break’: it’s the sign of the times. It was the knell of the bell signaling the death rattle of a country. We’re too blind to see, too darn stupid to comprehend that what’s transpired for the last 1,400 years and what’s taking place everywhere throughout the world is today’s ‘normal’ unless we get a grip, which leads me into my latest tip.”
“You never stop, do you?”
“I believe in Capitalism. And here’s my tip: invest in any card company that sells ‘Get-a-Grip’ cards. Sure thing.”
“And it’s a sure thing we’re out of time. Thank you, Bob, and your viewers for watching and so, on behalf of my crew, I’ll be wishing you all a good night: Goodnight.”
“Good show. You really put all your money in chalk, Bob? I have a stick with me. What do you say I write ‘TRUMP 2016’ on the sidewalk here? Let’s grab a burger. My treat.”