GOV. JOHN KASICH WINS 2016 REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARY IN HOME STATE
by OPOVV, ©2016
(Mar. 16, 2016) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and do we have a show for you. We’re in Dayton, Ohio, at one of their high school’s auditoriums where the Teacher of the Year, Miss Fran White, will be answering our questions.”
“Welcome to Ohio, Roving. Ohio is very excited about the elections and our ability to stand together and overwhelmingly support our governor, John Kasich.”
“Well, thank you, Miss White.”
“You can call me Fran.”
“Fran it is, then. Let me see if I understand this, Fran. Kasich voted for NAFTA, which cost the good people of Ohio thousands of jobs. Why would anybody support such a self-defeating platform?”
“Well, all I know is that President Clinton was behind it, so it must be okay.”
“But did you know that a big part of Bill Clinton’s reelection bid was NOT supporting NAFTA; that he campaigned that he was totally against it yet after he got reelected one of the first things he did to start his second term was to push NAFTA down our throats? Did you know that, and that Kasich supported NAFTA to the extent that he voted for it?”
“He must’ve had his reasons, which I’m sure were good. He’s a great governor.”
“He’s a RINO, is what he is. Again, what about jobs? What, do you think illegal immigrants haven’t taken ONE job from an American citizen, not one?”
“I wouldn’t know about that. I’m sure the Department of Labor has those statistics.”
“Let me ask you this, then. Do you think Kasich has a grip on the, let’s call it, the ‘Muslim Problem’?”
“I’m sure he does.”
“Really? Does Fort Hood ring a bell? San Bernardino? ISIS?”
“No, I’m sorry to say I don’t have a clue. Was that a trick question?”
“No trick. Now think about this one, please. In 20 years, what are the chances of a student writing about the end of the Republican Party naming John Kasich as being the cause for allowing his name to be on the ballot for the Ohio primary in 2016?”
“The nerve. You are one rude man. I don’t like you and don’t call me Fran.”
“Works for me. If you think Ohio is going down the tubes now, just wait. I see this state’s future as being one of desolation and despair; roaches and ruins; crime and crying. You people make me go so far as to think maybe Common Core wouldn’t be good for you.”
“It is and we have it, thanks to Kasich.”
“Wants that Federal money, does he? By the way, what subject do you teach here at the high school?”
“I teach ‘Citizenship’ and was voted ‘Teacher of the Year,’ I’m proud to say.”
“Not surprised. My sound-boom girl owes me $20. Now for the last question: Kasich – and Hillary — want the status quo, meaning business as usual, while Trump wants jobs and security. So what makes a person want what’s the worst for their children rather than what’s best?”
“Kasich is a great governor, just as Hillary is the vanguard of womanhood and just very well may be our first woman president.”
“What about Benghazi? What about the ‘stand-down’ order?”
“Oh, that. It’s a Republican attack; politics as usual is all Benghazi is. Besides, it’s ancient news and isn’t relevant no more.”
“Any more.”
“You think you’re so smart. Kasich won and you don’t like it. We won; you lost.”
“More like ‘We ALL lost.’ Well folks, time’s up. And a special thank-you to the Teacher of the Year, Miss Fran White, for answering our questions. Hope you enjoyed this episode of ‘Pulse of the Nation,’ and with that said, on behalf of my crew, I’ll be saying goodnight: Goodnight.”
“Gee, do you believe the stupid people of Ohio? What do you say we get the heck out of this state and get our burger somewhere else? Probably don’t know what a good burger is anyway. Never will we set foot in Ohio again. Let’s get out of here before they attack us or arrest us on some trumped-up charge, like believing in the Constitution.”