REPORTER TELLING THE TRUTH “NEEDS SOME TUTORING”
by OPOVV, ©2014
(Mar. 14, 2014) — ACT I
Prior to the curtain rising, the cast of 20 well-dressed men and women, in their 30’s, walk out from stage left, in a file, stop, face the American flag that stands at stage right and begin to recite the Pledge of Allegiance, hands over hearts, with motions for audience participation as the curtain rises on a classroom setting. At the conclusion of the pledge, the actors take the seats that face the audience as a gentleman enters from stage right and begins to address the class as the house lights dim.
Professor: “Welcome to your first class on how to deal with the press as freshmen Representatives. By the way, we recite the Pledge only during the orientation class. Let’s get started. Do we have a Mr. Green and, if so, please stand and I’ll ask you a question and you answer. Hello, Mr. Green, what do you attribute to the high unemployment numbers?”
Mr. Green: “Unfortunately, our high unemployment is directly due to all of our jobs going overseas. Why, just about everything that Americans used to make is made someplace else, mainly in China. And illegal immigrants.”
Professor: “Now Mr. Green, that’s not how we do things in Washington. Can anyone show Mr. Green the error of his ways? Is there a Cheryl Flint here?”
Cheryl Flint: “Actually, the unemployment numbers are misleading, depending on the source. We are now in a recovery mode, thanks to the recession that we inherited from Cheney and Bush. The stimulus money and the bailouts have stimulated the economy so we’re finally in a strong recovery.”
Mr. Green: “But that’s not true. Why, any fool knows better than that.”
Professor: “Please, Mr. Green: your job is to vote the way the Party tells you to and to get reelected. That’s it. And for you to get on mainstream media you have to play the game. Please pay attention. Will Mr. Nix answer the next question: ‘You’ve been nominated to be the head of the Benghazi Committee. What will be your first order of business?’”
Mr. Nix: “Thank you for your question. Even though I’m new here in Washington, I appreciate hard questions and the hard work you reporters do. I’ve always been a staunch supporter of the Fourth Estate, and my door will always be open to you all, every day. Thank you for the opportunity to answer your questions.”
Mr. Green: “What a bunch of hogwash. And you expect the reporters and the American people to swallow that?”
Professor: “Not only do the reporters report what you say, but the American people buy into the deceit and lies. Heck, they elected Obama in 2008 and then again in 2012. How stupid do you think they are? Okay, you all get the picture, go out there and have your first press conferences.”
The politicians rise and exit stage left as the curtain lowers.
ACT II
The curtain rises on a press conference on the Capitol steps. Our freshmen members of Congress are obliquely facing the audience on raised steps as the reporters are on stage right with microphones waving and cameras rolling.
Reporter #1: “Congresswoman Flint, as a member of the Intelligence Committee, has the NSA kept you informed on the missing Malaysian plane?”
Congresswoman Flint: “As you know, the committee is bipartisan and has a great relationship working with the NSA. As far as the missing plane, it’s a mystery to us all, which should tell you that Snowden’s accusations are just a bunch of made-up lies.”
Reporter #2: “Congressman Green, there are rumors about Obama being ineligible. What do you think?”
Mr. Green: “Ah, hmmm, I mean, ah, maybe somewhere. I heard that Bill O’Reilly of Fox News believes that Obama was really born in Hawaii. I, personally, know that Obama wasn’t properly vetted but I’m not really supposed to answer any questions regarding any eligibility issues. Any other questions? No?”
Reporter #3: “Molly Bernard reporting for Whole World News. Congressman Nix, what’s your position on this ‘Global Warming’ nonsense?”
Congressman Nix: “Hello Molly, thanks for your question. As you know, being a freshman congressperson, we all just graduated from the College of OPEN HORIZONS, where we learned to answer any question put to us. I’m glad to say that I’ll be back in my district and hope to get in a little fishing, and I hope the lake isn’t too hot for the fish to bite. Ha ha. Any other questions?”
Reporter #1: “Yes, I’ve one. Do you plan to do any hunting while you’re home?”
Congressman Nix: “Well, yes, of course. And if nothing else, a little skeet shooting and target practicing, as always.”
“America the Beautiful” starts to play softly as the cast steps out in front of the lowering curtain, lit by above-stage spotlights and faces the audience while the Professor enters from stage right to center stage, faces cast.
Professor: “Excellent job, class. Mr. Green, please meet me in my office after the show. I believe you need some tutoring.”
Professor turns and addresses the audience. Music brightens.
“Believe it or not, newbies to Washington actually do go through classes such as you witnessed tonight. As long as reporters accept the lame answers to their questions, as long as the complacent public continues to watch and read the mainstream media, thereby contributing to its success, we’ll continue to get the Republic for which we so richly deserve.”
Music gets louder. As stage lights dim, cast and the Professor face right, toward the flag which is now spotlighted, as the cast starts to sing the first stanza of the song. When the singing reaches the 5th line, “America! America!” house lights begin to brighten to full brightness, while the music reaches full intensity, at the end of the stanza. Upon the completion of the first stanza the music ends, stage lights go out while flag remains lit. Auditorium lights at full brightness. Cast exits stage left; Professor exits stage right.
FINI